Do you know who NF is? Have you ever heard of his music before? If not, you may experience and go through an emotional ride that hits you deep. 

A mini background about NF is that his real name is Nathan John Feuerstein. He is an American pop rapper, singer, and songwriter who has become popular over the years. He was raised in Gladwin, Michigan, and was born on March 30, 1991, making him 30 years old and is married to his wife Bridgette Doremus since 2018.

He’s a soon-to-be-father and his albums have earned several accolades (one which I’ll list only) which include: the Gospel Music Association Dove Award for Rap/Hip Hop album of the year (Therapy Session). A fun fact about NF is that he’s a Christian and used to be on the basketball team in High School and he had said that rap was an escape for him. It’s also interesting that NF stated and credited Eminem for being his prime influence. Now enough about NF’s personal life; let’s get to his music. 

I will not be talking about the whole song, but only the portion of it. Some of the song verses will, of course, relate heavily to me and some verses will be reflections of NF’s feeling. The song ‘Paralyzed’ by NF of course means a lot to me and is a song that I value.

The first verse in line 3-4 reads: All the words that leave my tongue feel like they came from someone else

NF is referring in this line to the words that leave his tongue are not what he wants to say, but will eventually say when others have told him the things he’s heard already again and again. In a way, this goes with the saying of putting words into people’s mouths, since he can’t control the way he’s speaking and will eventually succumb to it in the end. This line itself relates to me easily because of my family. They have told me many things that I’m used to listening to about me (which I’d rather not go into details about since it’s somewhat too emotional for me and this is supposed to be about NF) and I’d listen to the words of what they label me as. It’s casual and the feelings that come with it are numbing and suffocating.

The second verse in lines 9-11 reads: I’m paralyzed. Where is the real me? I’m lost and it kills me – inside

When you are paralyzed, it’s a numbing and emotionless feeling. You can’t move, feel, think or function correctly. Because he’s feeling different and unusual, he’s not the person he used to be; the real him. Knowing this feeling, kills him slowly inside of being lost towards trying to find himself again. He’s changed in a way he didn’t want to and is damaged a lot mentally. For me, I as a human break down a lot of the time due to questioning and trying to find out who I am and what purpose am I to live for. Of course, this takes a negative turn for me because it made me realize that I’ll never be anything more as I should be in the future because I lost who I was. I am stuck wandering in an endless abyss and it kills me slowly inside knowing that the real me of who I used to be is gone and had deteriorated already out of my reach. Hence it leaves me in a scattered maze to try and pick up the pieces again to find who I once was.

The fifth (Bridge) verse in line 41-43 reads: I’m in a box but I’m the one who locked me in suffocating and I’m running out of oxygen

This line itself is heavy. I interpret it as when you lock yourself in a box, you don’t want anyone to come in and hurt you. You build that box around you to solemnly keep others out and barricade yourself into darkness called loneliness and solitude, which others know better to do to keep themselves safe and happy by being alone. The reason for the box is to secure and tightly pack everything together of yourself and that’s a weakness and the vulnerable side of you and others they can’t show and portray in the open. When you have kept the box locked up for far too long with your façade and mask up, you start to lose your oxygen, unable to breathe properly because it’s too heavy and suffocating to uphold or bear alone. It was only meant to be limited, not to last forever.

Being a teen finding your place in the world can be a paralyzing scary experience. Thanks to words from artists like NF, things can sometimes be a little bit easier.